MISSED CONNECTION: Tai Chi-Practicing Dude Seeks Beast-Carrying Beauty in Prospect Park

You skittered past, eyes frantically searching below. You didn’t notice me doing tai chi in the grass, perfecting my balance. A strange tickle on my foot knocked me off-kilter.

The tickle moved further up my leg. I squealed. I flailed. At last, I had your attention. Your green eyes widened at the sight of my beast-covered crotch.

“Don’t kill Randy!” you begged, as I shook off the tarantula. You scooped Randy off the ground, tucked him into his carrier, and ran.

Hope you see this post. Let’s chat over kombucha? Maybe I’ll warm up to Randy.