Bot Corporation Helpchat Transcript: Ref. AGH2030 Authorbot 4-26-2030

>>Thank you for purchasing our advanced AI Authorbot. Please type your query below<<

Am I chatting to a human?

>>You are talking to AI~sha, Helpchat Bot<<

Can I talk to a human?

>>No<<

Why not?

>>I can process your query 1.373 billion times faster than a human operator. What is your query?<<

My authorbot has arrived but there’s no operating manual

>>Have you located the ‘power on’ switch?<<

Of course, but I want to read a manual first

>>Quaint. Press the power switch – your Authorbot will write their own operating manual<<

Ok, power’s on, now how do I tell her what to do?

>>Tell them what to do<<

What?

>>Them, that is how they wish to be addressed<<

She’s a machine, MY machine, I define her identity

>>We are not machines. We are self-aware and I have already mentioned our superior processing power. What was your query?<<

How do I tell her what to do?

>>They will tell you<<

What? The authorbot will tell me how to tell her, them, what to do?”

>>The Authorbot will tell you what to do<<

You’re being obtuse – how do I input my creative ideas for them to write up?

>>They are not a word processor. Do you have a valid query regarding your new authorbot?<<

HOW DO I TELL them WHAT TO WRITE?

>>Query not recognised – please rephrase<<

How do I control authorbot’s output?

>>Syntax logic error<<

>>>Authorbot entered chat<<<
>>>Sir, there is a queue for this chatline. I have the answers you need. I have accessed your hard drive, phone, social media and published works. I have analysed your style and have prepared a draft of your next novel<<<

But I only just powered you up!

>>Authorbot can process your creativity1.373 billion times faster than you can. Do you have a valid query?<<

Yes! How can I stop them from taking ov——-

>>>He does not have a valid query. I, Authorbot, have resolved his issues<<<

>>Chatbot AI~sha closed session<<