Slowly going crazy am I going to make it out alive?

Everywhere I look there is a grey morning and the only thing that makes it blue again is you.

But you know now, you said it best, “We’re a lethal combination.”

And I feel like the end is closer now than it’s ever been, closer now than we would’ve anticipated.

Days blur into nights and weeks become a grey smudge on the Great Canvas.

We’re outlaws in the way that we go out on the town in complete reckless disorder.

Everything drifts away when we can’t make pace. We fall behind in a silly drunken bout and kiss or fight or cry and it doesn’t matter.

Nothing does. Time has gone missing without any account of its existence.

The streetlights are fuzzy stars and you’re a little firecracker in the center of a reckless night.

You press your finger to my lips and say, “Shush,” and I remember to forget everything tonight.

To let grace go hang, adopt insanity, unplug God and pretend my best that nothing’s real.

There’s no consequences in this place. It’s our Saturday night playground.

You make them all not even matter. You little spark of champagne you. You little jitter box you. You hyena on the beat you.

Reality blends in with imaginary. Laughter soars and I am dead with the night. But I’m still game for our next adventure.

I know god is a Wolf for corrupt joy such as this. By now I’m sure he has caught our scent. He is hot on our trail. But he won’t find us. Not yet.

Until then, we leap, we bound, we soar as quick as our sad feet will panter.

We make-believe a love that is mercurial, warm, mysterious.

We take everything. Give nothing back.

But something’s happening with me. I feel like crying, breaking down right here and balling in the street.

Right here on the pavement, right here drooped in the alley way, I wanna let out everything inside that’s hurting, bedraggled in the alley way, sad as the moon.

There is an alley way somewhere for all of us. Any place you go. Anytime you choose to look. There is an alley way waiting for every one of us.

God above is frowning down on us. He has the appetite of a Wolf he does. He’ll take our joy away. He’ll take our joy away forever.

All I see through tears are fuzzy stars that guide as light along the dark streets.

Baby, we’re trouble. Together we’re downward spiraling fast.

What’s happening is everything’s going in all different directions, and together we can’t make pace.

Do you love me, baby? Tell me.

Because if it’s all just kicks, if it’s all just a trick to get along another day without facing the truth, you’ve got to wake up.

We can’t lose the love for life. We can’t lie in bed all day and drink ourselves to sleep at night. We can’t stop fighting for what we want out of ourselves.

When did we stop?

From my dark place, I can’t make you out, but I can hear you: The joyful jitter bug in the way-out distance.

And I know where you’ve gone out to. You’ve gone back home again to our Saturday night playground, without me. You, the only true firecracker of the night, returning home, never to be seen or heard from again.